That's sacriledge, I know, but I have to go to my husband's office Christmas party next week. I am having surgery to remove a cyst from my cheek tomorrow (which requires stitches that won't be out before the party), so I am really self-conscious anyway and the idea of trotting in there with all of his beautiful co-workers and me all gross in my pajama pants doesn't make me feel very pretty. I stopped myself though. How on earth could someone who literally spends all of her free time working with yarn purchase a random cheap sweater?
Ug, I still dread next week. And for that matter, I dread tomorrow.
Nothing I am trying to do is working. I've moved my studio space and am working on getting it ultra functional (and a little pretty), but it seems like I am moving in slow motion or perhaps somehow getting stuck in a time-space continuum of sorts that makes it seem like even though I work at this all day everyday, I never get any farther ahead. I have people asking me to make them things (that's awesome!) but when they ask how much I want, I ALWAYS say "oh nothing, you don't have to pay me". Literally every single tiime. "No, no, I enjoy being poor! Thanks though".
I need a business manager. I read the heck out of The Handmade Marketplace by Kari Chapin and I can intelligently accept the things she says and theoretically understand all the priciples, but when it comes to actually doing the right things, I just cannot manage to get it right.
I live in a college town that is all about trendy stuff and there are a ton of boutique shops that I KNOW would sell my stuff, but I cannot go in. I have this very strong feeling if I did it would be much like the fabulous negotiations I have managed so far. You know the, "please take this all for free" sort of business plan. I figure I would end up in something where I agree to constantly provide, free of charge, millions of new things with zero profit involved (and actually a good bit of loss, if you think about how much cash I spend on yarn-even the recycled yarn is costing me a bit.)
Ag, what do I do?